My So-Called Dating Life… The Biggest Jayus of All

I’ve entered myself into a writing competition on Live Journal called LJ Idol. (I’m not sure why… I feel many people in the competition are FAR better writers than myself. I just have a lot of thoughts to put on paper, but don’t actually have the technical skills to go much farther than that. :-D) At any rate, it seemed like fun and it gives me writing prompts even when I’m no longer involved in the competition.

Below is my first entry. Our writing prompt was the word “jayus” which means a joke so UN-funny that you can’t help but laugh.

Also, be on the lookout for the link to vote! I’ll update it as soon as I have it. I’m going to need all of the help I can get 😀


My So-Called Dating Life… The Biggest Jayus of All

The “single life” has never really suited me. I didn’t date much during high school for a plethora of reasons, though most of them centered on my fear of rejection. Why I lived with such a fear of being embarrassed or betrayed is beyond me but it still plagues me to this day.I managed to have 3 consecutive long term “relationships” (one even lasted for 6 years!) after high school. There was never time for ‘dating’ in between the relationships as it would seem I would end up in a relationship with the first person I’d meet after a breakup. That all ended around the age of 28.

After a breakup that left me completely lost I found myself single for close to 2 years. It became clear that I wasn’t just going to slip, trip and fall into a new relationship this time. I found myself surfing the internet dating pool in search of the next “Mr. Right”. Some could muse that this was my first mistake.

I must have gone on 100 first dates that failed for one reason or another. From the guy who found it hilarious that he punched an ex-girlfriend during a dream, to the guy who was a middle school English teacher and not only allowed his students to curse at him but also confided in me that he accidentally shat himself one day, to the guy who was sure that we were soul mates.

In this technological age where everyone’s every thought is posted on a social media website, I even posted a list of “ideal traits” that I would not compromise on. Of course the first man that I meet who seems to have potential reads my list and is offended because some of my list of ‘demands’ didn’t match up with him. Of course, they didn’t.

I started to wonder if this was the universe’s ultimate jayus. I had no choice but to laugh.